“everybody’s got a time in their life when everything hurts and nothing’s right, but you gotta walk on. yeah, you gotta walk on. everybody’s got a piece of their heart that’s been stepped on and torn apart, but you gotta be strong. yeah, you gotta be strong. i know it’s hard to have the strength, and sometimes you can’t get through the day, but things just float on by like a river in the night. i know things are gonna get better, i know things are gonna be fine. i know life is gonna get better, standing here together, yeah we’re gonna be fine. everybody’s got that one regret, no matter how hard they try, they can’t forget, but you gotta move on. yeah, you gotta move on. everybody’s got someone they’ve lost and they can’t believe they’re really gone, but you gotta live on. yeah, you gotta live on. keep walking on.”—david archuleta, i hope you know we’re getting married someday.
one of the most important people in my life…just walked out.
but what was i supposed to do? it hurt too much, how he felt the need to flirt with every female creature that inhabits the earth…yet claimed to love me. i’ve come to learn that most guys are the same. when it comes to girls, they take advantage of a fragile one that’s been broken many times and break her again, just for the satisfaction of doing so. little do they know, being broken makes you stronger…and i have faith that one day i’ll find a guy genuine enough to be with. until then, let the wrong ones come and go, i’m not too concerned.
i was kidding, hannah’s really not dumb she’s like the smartest person on the face of this earth and even though we’re mean to each other in 3rd hour i love her. so just clarifying.
so i’m sitting in school right now and i don’t have THAT much time to talk about my life but just a little outline; i’m really excited for this weekend. and there are friend and boy issues that are bugging me but i don’t want to think about that right now.
blah, the hour’s almost over and i have to listen to a poem. hahaha, desiree wants to be an old lady that everybody pushes down the stairs :) oh third hour, how you crack me up.
“life’s too short to have regret, so i’m learning now to leave it in the past and try to forget. we only have one life to live so you better make the best of it. i will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me, leave the past behind me, today my life begins. a whole new world is waiting, it’s mine for the taking, i know i can make it.”—bruno mars, how inspiring you are <3
i hate change…of course i do. now tell me how that’s wrong, to hate not speaking to people you were inseparable from in the past, to hate going from best friends to friends to acquaintances to nothing, to hate even glancing at a boy you once loved because he tore your heart to pieces and you weren’t strong enough at the time to pick them up. it can’t be wrong. if change hurts, i think you can hate it. thanks.
once again, taylor swift has taken the words from my mouth.
she is a genius. i don’t know a single song of hers that doesn’t relate to something in my life. & back to december is no exception…although for me, it’d be back to november. even though i’m over him now, the following words describe exactly how i felt a couple of months ago. and to tell you the truth, if there was an opportunity to go back to him, i would take it. why do we always want the ones who can hurt us the most?
if you read this, just look at the similarities. i modified it a little, haha. but don’t get me wrong, i don’t love you anymore, and i was stupid to in the first place…it was just an emotional time for both of us.
"you’ve been good, busier than ever. we small talk, work and the weather. your guard is up and i know why; because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. i realized i loved you in the fall, and then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye. so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night, and i go back to [november] all the time. it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you, wishing i’d realized what i had when you were mine. i’d go back to [november], turn around and change my mind. i miss how you held me in your arms that [november] night, the first time you ever saw me cry. maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, but if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right. i’d go back in time and change it but i can’t, so if the chain is on your door, i understand."
“i don’t know what tomorrow brings, but i’m still hoping that you are the one for me. what if i had you and what if you had me and baby, what’s the reason we can’t fall in love? we can’t tell the future, no, that’s just the beauty of the world we know. what if…”—jason derulo <3
“tell the devil i said “hey” when you get back to where you’re from. gave you all i had and you tossed it in the trash. to give me all your love is all i ever asked cause what you don’t understand is i’d catch a grenade for ya, throw my hand on a blade for ya. i’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know i’d do anything for ya. i would go through all this pain, take a bullet right through my brain, yes i would die for you baby, but you won’t do the same. if my body was on fire, you’d watch me burn down in flames. you said you loved me, you’re a liar cause you never, ever, ever did baby…but darling i’ll still catch a grenade for ya.”—B R U N O M A R S <3
ladskjghkfvjknfdkjh; so much to say and nowhere near enough time. i got my facebook back but it’s definitely a waste of time so i won’t be on it much. happenings:
1. homecoming. it was a stressful & rainy saturday, but i managed to find a dress on time and look halfway decent for pictures, although my parents didn’t take any. dinner was interesting, slightly scary as well (long story), and partly spent searching for one member of our party in the freezing parking lot of olive garden. the dance was fantastic, despite the fact that i was incredibly sick and the dj stopped the music at random times. my friend danced with boys for the first time, haha (but unfortunately, one of the boys was my ex boyfriend’s best friend and the other is the guy i had a huge crush on last year), and i had the regular experience of dancing with people without knowing who they were…it was a good time i suppose. the after party—driving through tacobell twice at 1am, and sleeping (not really) at nicole’s with the crew—was delightful as well. seeing my old best friend cuddling with the guy i was on and off with since freshman year and into this summer was…actually not as bad as i expected. which is a wonderful realization because it means i’m able to get over people more easily now :)
2. church sunday morning/small group leading. loveeeeeeeeeeeee it. seriously, these 6th grade girls are SUCH a blessing and i’m so grateful.
3. edge. it wasn’t as good as i expected. i felt like i was missing something, i was sick, tired, and bored. the bus ride home was…well…i don’t know how it was.
4. boys. i’m over the boy that i quoted all those taylor swift songs about, finally. it took me about a year, but i think i’m done. he just continues to make fun of me and everything he was to me, and i don’t appreciate it. so whatever, it’s not even worth talking about.
5. life thoughts:
so i need some friends. the real ones that will last a while. because right now, i seem to have none of those genuine friendships. and that hurts me.
i can’t ever figure out what to say to you. it is frustrating me greatly.
i hate when you flirt with other girls.
GAH i wish i could write about the deep stuff in my life but people actually might read this thing and it would freak them out. so. that’s it for now. i need like, challenge day. or a heart to heart talk. with one of those genuine people i don’t have. cool.
“there’s a place i know about, and i think you and me should go. it can be our secret baby, no one even has to know. and your eyes can’t hide what you feel inside; don’t think the stars have ever shined so bright.”—CODY SIMPSON <3